Do the baby blues exist?
I always knew postpartum depression was a very real thing, but just a
case of the baby blues? It seemed to me
that unless you had deep, real depression, a purely chemical and physical
issue, what is there to be blue about? You’ve
got a new baby who is awesome and makes life worth living, right? Well, I’ve discovered that my little bundle
of joy does indeed make life worthwhile, which is part of the cause of having a
minor case of the blues – especially when you have to spend your days away from
her.
Frankly, I’ve come to discover that our society is extremely
unnatural when it comes to new moms and their babies. Six weeks?
Really? That’s all most people
take off??? I took nine weeks because if I didn’t come back to work in the new
year, it would eat into my time off, which I would need for times that daycare
is closed or sick days or even just the odd vacation day. So I got nine measly weeks.
I’m a big advocate and fan of breastfeeding. Despite
the difficulties it brings, it is pretty easy once you get the hang of
it. Baby was eating almost constantly
(or at least that’s how it felt), so much of my time was spent with her
literally attached to me. Then, all of a
sudden, that was completely gone as I had to go to work. No more days of waking early to nurse and
crash back out until 8:30 or 9:00 in the morning. Or spending our days on the couch on with the
boppy pillow. Now we get up at 4:30 and
she gets an hour or so of nursing before she goes to daycare. I can’t seem to pump enough to keep her
going, so my BFF pumps for me, too.
Between the two of us, we’re still not enough, so now she’s getting
formula supplemented during the day to keep her little belly full. That depresses me, too.
My first day back to work was pretty bad. I spent it near/in tears. It got better after that, slowly. I still have days that I go through “baby
withdrawal,” wishing I was curled up with her, nursing or sleeping or just
holding her. Women aren’t meant to be ok
with leaving their babies. My sitter is
a good friend of mine and I trust her completely, but she isn’t the mommy. Baby
may need mommy, but mommy needs baby, too.
Most days I’m pretty good, but some nights I don’t get as
much sleep as others and that definitely affects my mood the next day. It’s also a cumulative effect. I noticed this week that I seem to be losing
a lot more hair in the shower.
Seriously, Mother Nature? I just
had a baby and still have that “baby pudge” so pre-pregnancy clothes are still
a distant dream, sleep is at a premium and now hair loss??
Yeah, I definitely believe in the baby blues.
No comments:
Post a Comment