Postpartum Discovery

My most disheartening thought today was "I hate 99% of my clothes and so far this week, I've already worn the 1% I like!"  Crap! 

I was down to a size 10 for awhile before I got pregnant.  Then, I realized that I was going to be getting pregnant soon, so I stopped being quite so conscientious with my eating habits.  So I was around a 12 when I got pregnant.  I ate pretty much what I wanted, but still stuck with my usual snacks like fruit and the fiber one/plus bars. Then, much to my dismay, they informed me (after 2 glucose tests that just BARELY failed) that I had gestational diabetes.  The midwife who actually delivered me (that's a whole 'nother story in and of itself) agreed with me and did not think that I actually had full blown gestational diabetes - merely a sensitivity.  So, at any rate, I was darn near perfect for the last half of my pregnancy and kept my blood sugar stellar with relative ease. 

I really only gained about 25 pounds total.  I had my daughter on October 29, 2011.  This of course, was right before the dreaded holidays.  I'm actually up a few pounds from my lowest point after giving birth, and still rockin' the size 16s.  I can do the 14s with a belly band, like I used until I was about 3 or 4 months pregnant.  Those things were definitely a lifesaver when I was preggo, but now they're a little depressing.  I'm almost 32 years old and was pudgy to start with, but this belly stuff is hard to get rid of!  Throw breastfeeding into the mix, and frankly, it seems almost impossible at times.  I think I am just one of those people who does not lose weight while breastfeeding.  I feel like I'm starving more now than when I was pregnant!  I want to start Isagenix (like Body by Vi, but with better nutritional value and corporate ethics, according to a friend of mine who is on it.  And let me just say, that this friend and his wife lost 100 pounds EACH this last year.  Impressive to say the least.), but I can't do the cleanse part while breastfeeding and it's a bit pricy, so I'm waiting for income taxes before picking it up for myself and the hubby.  And with how hungry I am, I'm still a little skeptical.

So, at any rate, I find that I actually MISS being pregnant.  I got to wear cute clothes with wild prints and baby doll cuts.  I got to have a belly and show it off proudly!  I was psyched that I pretty much only gained weight in my tummy area.  Well...my pants show that lie, since my rear and thighs make my size 12 jeans more like sausage casings than pants.

So, what is a postpartum mom to do?  I'm still breastfeeding and spend almost my entire evening doing so.  I spend my breaks pumping (where I used to walk the treadmill at work) and my lunch time is going to the babysitters and nursing the baby as well.  Right now does not appear to be the optimum time for diet or exercise, really as it is hard to fit in time or willpower.

And besides, you really aren't supposed to limit your calorie intake too much while you are nursing, right?  I eat lots of healthy food.  Lots of it!  Ahem.  Well, maybe I'll just pick up a few more size 16s until spring comes around and munchkin spends a little less time on the boob.